Learning to Trust the Good

Maybe the Hard Part Already Happened

I have been waiting for something to go wrong.

I do not say that to be dramatic. I say it because it is the most honest thing I can tell you about this week, which was by every measurable standard a genuinely good one. I worked from my apartment for the first time and it felt exactly like what I always imagined having a real home base would feel like. They replaced my floors and even that small detail made everything feel newer, more intentional, more mine. The last of my furniture arrived. The space is coming together in a way that makes me stop and look around sometimes just to confirm it is real.

And underneath all of that, quietly, persistently, was this feeling I could not quite shake. Like I was sitting at a bus stop waiting for something I did not want to arrive.

I know where it comes from. I have lived enough life to know that good seasons do not always stay. I have been in the hard part, the real hard part, and I know what it costs and how long it lasts and how much it takes out of you. So when things are good, when everything seems to be clicking into place at the same time, some part of me does not fully trust it. Some part of me is already scanning the horizon for the thing that is going to balance the scales.

But here is what I have also learned, and I have to remind myself of this because knowing something and living it are two very different things. If you go looking for something bad to happen, you will find it. You will locate the evidence, you will interpret the neutral things as warning signs, you will create the very reality you were afraid of because that is what focused attention does. It builds what it looks for.

And waiting for the bad thing does not protect you from it either. If you sit at that bus stop long enough the bus will eventually come, but it was always going to come whether you were watching for it or not. The waiting does not give you a head start. It just steals the good time you had while you were waiting.

So I am working on something this week that does not come naturally to me. I am working on letting the good be good without needing it to prove itself first. Maybe all the hard things that were going to happen to me have already happened. Maybe I have done the work and made the changes and built the life and this, right here, is what the other side of all of that actually looks like. Maybe I am allowed to be in a good era without bracing for it to end.

And if you are reading this from the hard part, from the season where nothing seems to be clicking and the weight of it is real, I want you to hear this too. I have been there. It passed. Not because I wished hard enough or stayed positive enough but because hard seasons are seasons, not sentences. This too will shift. I promise you it will shift.

I cooked dinner for my girlfriend last week, which is its own kind of joy, the specific pleasure of feeding someone you love in a space that is yours. We talked about relationships the way women do, openly and honestly and without the performance that sometimes creeps into those conversations in mixed company.

I have been thinking about that a lot lately, about how the person you choose to share your life with is the most consequential decision you will ever make. More than the job, more than the city, more than any of the other things we agonize over. I will come back to that one properly another week because it deserves its own full conversation.

For now I am here. Settled, grateful, working on trusting the good.

Après Me,

Sherita

This week’s non-toxic favorites

Cleaning products are this week’s focus and I filmed a reel walking through everything I have been using in the new place. All non-toxic, all things I actually use and love. Watch the reel here and shop everything below.